Women chronicle financial physical fears in fleeing abuse
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Joan Fox, a dentist in Ahwatukee who said she left an abusive relationship, advised others in similar situations to seek friends, clergy or a church for support and to find “the nearest shelter.”
“They need to have a plan for safety,” Fox said. “There is hope.”
Aliza’s story
Aliza, who did not want to reveal her last name, left a physically abusive husband in Scottsdale after being married 37 years.
She got married at age 19 in Israel to a man she said later began to push and strangle her and call her names. She took her two children and left a few times, but said her husband would find her by following the kids’ school buses.
When she was 57, Aliza said, her husband told her to leave or he would kill her. She withdrew money from their bank and went to a motel knowing he would try to find her. She then went back to school to become a nurse’s assistant.
Now 60, she works as a legal advocate for the Coalition Against Domestic Violence, helping other domestic violence victims on a hotline. “It feels beautiful,” Aliza said. “I’m trying to do everything I can to help victims and survivors of domestic violence.”
Cheryl’s story
Tempe resident Cheryl McCoy left her husband after being married for six months because she said he was verbally abusive. She said he abused drugs, called her incessantly and accused her of “sleeping around.”
She kicked him out and filed an order of protection, which she said he violated several times. McCoy said he is in jail now.
She credits her faith in God for helping her move on.
“It’s freedom,” she said. “I know I’ve got some healing to do.”
Sherri’s story
Sherri, 41, who works in Tempe and asked that her last name not be used, left an abusive fianc� after saving some money and stashing clothes at her office.
Sherri was a divorced mother of three in 2003 when she started dating her boss at a telemarketing company in Nebraska.
She described him as “an absolute sweetheart” who “spoiled me rotten” while they dated. She said his tendency to call her 15 or 20 times a day was concerning, and they eventually broke up.
The remained friends, even after he got a job in Arizona. On Valentine’s Day 2006, Sherri said he e-mailed her saying he wanted to get back together. In April, they got engaged and a few months later she moved to Arizona to be with him.
That’s when the relationship went downhill, she said.
He would pull her hair and accuse her of having sexual relationships with men she worked with. He demanded that she answer her phone after a certain number of rings and he would choke her, hit her and pin her down, covering her nose and mouth, she said.
Sherri said her co-workers saw her bruises and offered to help. Her boss gave her a locked filing cabinet where she could start storing money and clothes for when she was ready to leave.
In August 2006, one night after seeing her innocently hug his friend, she said he beat her repeatedly over nine hours.
“I remember my ears ringing really bad, not being able to stand up,” Sherri said. “I remember just praying to him, ‘Please let me call my kids one last time.’ ”
When he left the apartment the next morning, she called her office for help. A co-worker called 9-1-1 and tried to calm Sherri on another phone.
Police responded and she was taken to a hospital. Her co-workers contacted her mother, who flew in from Nebraska to help her. Her mother helped her pay to get an apartment and in January police arrested the abuser, she said.
Sherri said she believes now he is out of state but police have a warrant for his arrest.
She said CARE 7, a Tempe program that assists people in crisis, helped her seek victim’s compensation and sent a victim advocate to court with her.
Sherri said she now lives with her new boyfriend, Tim, who she describes as loving and supportive, and her daughter, Haley, 16.
“It’s a good feeling,” she said. “It’s not a scared feeling.”
